In for the count?

Unlike perhaps a good number of people today, I did grow up in the era that did allow for spanking in such settings as schools where it was seen pretty much as the natural consequence for breaking the rules and like every generation before and since there always is a point several of you start to get a little antsy, a little like starting a rumble in the classroom or sports field having been ever so meek and mild for a good period of time.

The reason I kind of bring that up isn’t to discuss the pros and cons but cos I’m rather curious about where that whole notion of counting ones licks really comes from as nobody in my schools or even in homes, ever had the “One. Thank you Miss, Two than you Miss” etc counting routine in spanking. You were lucky if you told how many you were to be given before hand.

Rather like bare bottom spanking in schools which never happened at co-ed schools in the classroom but played out in role plays and photo shoots, sometimes I wonder if we’re creating a spanking mythology, that as enjoyable (if a well warmed bottom can be described as such) as it is has no part in the realities and the recreation thereof in either a role playing setting or in an age regression with spanking life as lived?

The one thing around when people give me the spankings I need for my attitudes and behaviour I like the most is that they never tell me how many, only how and when I will be so at the point of spanking my focus is on what I did plus the pain being delivered to my bottom as the consequence for my actions until they determine it has sunk in.

I find that works much better at maintaining the connection between action and consequence so I do learn to modify those behaviours and attitudes. Any thoughts?

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I’m Jo and I’m Ticked Off

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The week here starts with a couple of irritants of which the first is when you read a comment on a blog that’s to tell people who to block saying something like “they seem to follow all the rules-so to speak-but I noticed they wrote something about age regression” and the blog owner writes that they ought to be suspicious as it it is a way of getting minors into kink, can you blame me for feeling like exploding?

Thing is in the first instance, except for talking about spanking and the use of 18+ spanking images from well known adult service photo and video producers, everything else on that Tumblr which is flagged as NSFW, no minors  allowed is just age regression and in the context I talk about isn’t say bdsm adult power exchange or sex at all.

Second thing is it really makes me puke as someone who is both asexual and also had a career in child protection that someone who has no idea about my life can even publicly speculate that I post it to attract minors and if I didn’t I’d be into bdsm when it is not visible to minors and fully conforms to Tumblrs TOC. How dare YOU view my life based on your kinks as speculate that’s what it’s about just cos I don’t follow your lifestyles ideas and especially when I have posted expressly that I don’t agree with minors involved in adult kink spaces such as bdsm and that I’d report them. They are so wrapped around protecting their kink they’d besmirch my character to save their own image.

I’m sticking two fingers up at them (and believe me I can think of other places to put them) and if that is what your community really is like, well I’m mighty glad I never shared a space with it.

Second thing, same site because I belong to one age regression community totally SFW, minor safe nada another group say because I use a little word like ‘little’ we’re so kink that I can’t join disability groups for developmentally disabled regressors thinking somehow I’m gonna lead people to Miss Whiplash and Super Sexy Games as if I’m even interested in that stuff. Groups that might even benefit me in learning to handle my disabilities better. Honestly this stuff really ticks me off big time no wonder I need maintenance spankings at times!

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What I did although I was Pawley

You could call this the eventually edition cos I felt short of several spoons for most of this week, having to cut back on the contributions I usually make to several sites to ensure those things that do matter more to me not least my own well being are attended too.

As unfortunately one gets used to at anywhere you mention spanking you get people messaging you wanting to be that person with the paddle with no real emotional rapport just a girls butt to bruise and redden when they’re not wanting sexual stuff of which and more is explained on a About Me profile that I’m just not into or gonna hook up with you over.

It’s a pity cos there are some nice intelligent people trying to understand how spanking, being a little and coping with my disabilities is like as a package although I feel more comfortable at SN and more closer to people.

In a round about way I didn’t do too much with being off colour but did make a remarked on post about may day on my regular sfw blog, talked about how disability issues are so off the agenda in Great Britain’s General Election on Jo’s Dorm blog (and have a super little post due for Wednesday!) and have been tidying up my original big blog which until later last year had been dormant.

Part of that was how I’ve changed, that rather than trying on a blog form to impersonate the full adult person I’m not, I’m just being me open about how my life is, saying more or less follow if you’re interested on my Sfw littles on or just move on so I was struggle to say a reason to use it.

In effect it was parked because the stuff that as was not so little such as current affairs and the like just wasn’t on my horizon but as over the year not least after that European Union referendum I needed a place to process and dump that stuff so it didn’t trouble in the way it had before  making me mentally ill so I reactiviated it coming more as that lower high school kid who knew and talked about what was in the news rather playing roles dead centre to it. I decide to be brave and come out about being a little/middle on it too.

That about from my BFF keeping an eye on me  is what I have been working, tidying it up as I’d left it a bit messy in places with incomplete entries and just bits of random stuff so seeing I am growing up a bit I can learn to apply some discipline to keeping my more serious blog tidy in much the same I would of been expected to hand in well put together project back then.

I may of been short on spoons but I did get some good stuff  done!

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Joanne’s Dorm and the need for discipline

It’s been a strange week of encountering different people at differing places so you start that oh so nerve wracking introduction business you though you had sorted for a few months going through the motions of explaining yourself and your life all over again.

On the other hand my BFF and I’s idea of having on our Age Regression with spanking tumblr a B.Y.F, that’s for those who don’t speak fluent Tumblrese a Before You Follow page where we say what sorts of people we don’t to follow or interact in any way, shape or form seems to have helped as we we getting lots of people who post sexually explicit pictures or sexual comment on our nonsexual posts and just generally disrespecting boundaries, is working well. We might be the only spanking connected tumblrs with them!

Then there was an interesting person from the UK who was following some posts on Similar Worlds and talking about them, I’m not on their all the time and my Caregivers rules are no photos to others so I don’t have instagrams and that but they made some good points that tie in with something else I did last week.

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“Your individual discipline matters. Always.” was not something I was kind of expecting although I do appreciate honest feedback if I write about something I have done or how someone has chosen to deal with what I did because it is what I need to have and to make an appropriate adjustment to in order to grow up even within my own limits.

You see, that takes us on to why it is I’ve redone the blogger jokitten.com blog which was originally started in the days of my time on Experience Project and around the point when additional guidance, structure and the use of spanking on me came in because in reality it’s less a “spanking blog” but more a blog about discipline including learning to master your own feelings and emotions as well as about the guidance I am given and where needed traditional corporal punishment to cause me to think more about my actions and attitudes and to change them.

It wasn’t so much Punishment that I needed and do need but discipline – the act of training me up to be more mature, to think more about what I do before I do it and to assume greater personal responsibility backed up with spanking. Writing about my feelings does help in making me more aware of them so I can better master them, learning to make a good response even in a trying situation.

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They were right to say “Discipline is key” and so the purpose of that blog is to help me in the wider sense become more disciplined not just when I mess up and I have to be honest and say I need to be but also to become more self disciplined in my attitude and behaviour in myself and in my social interaction with others by talking about what I have done, how I feel, what other people feel about me and how they have dealt with it.

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Owning up to past offenses

This week I’m all caught up and although there are a number of things I could write about after talking with some friends during an art streaming session, there was something cos a number of them talked about the things that happened to them at high school and how they felt about it.

It’s a bit complicated with me cos most people see things in terms of the victim and the perpetrator which I think isn’t necessarily true for a good number of us and I know was not true for me at all cos I was both.

While in mainstream education I was bullied for a period, being tackled to the ground and assaulted, deliberately excluded by other kids in the year group aka “Sent to Coventry”, had essential stuff like pens and ink stolen and a sustained period where I was spat at for months coming into school having to try to clean myself up.

That as you can probably imagine caused me to withdraw, always keeping in the company of adults and hiding away whenever  they had an opportunity to start all over again.

Another side to this was I did feel very angry  so sometimes I’d lash out destroying toys or in one instance threatening to tip one guy out of his wheelchair in my teens or while in the work place in my early 20’s mocking a guy.

But then when you’ve done that kind of thing yourself you just might feel…guilty later on cos you never expressed any remorse for it and certainly were never in any way punished at all.

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I just love this cartoon cos it really speaks to me about this whole area because I did own up to a mentor about a number of these past offenses who then did given me a spanking for them because it did draw a line under them for me taking away much of that guilt, putting in the punishment I wanted for it at the time so the matter was after a talk concluded.

*Being spanked for these past transgressions was therapeutic for me*

It really helped.

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Jo gets it together

The week  concludes very much being on the top of it even though I had an event that forced itself voluntarily when a friend  of a mutual threatened and sadly went through  with a overdose a day and bit ago. Thankfully police were alerted and they’re alive in hospital.

In this week I was supported by my BFF apart from other people such as my Caregiver who faces similar challenges to myself, keeping a watchful eye over me, not just in the direct sense that I was in fact doing what I needed to  but also that I was all right emotionally and psychological as the form I needed to get done requires you to think about what makes you ‘different’ and how that may effect your ability to be employed which with my conditions is a pretty negative place to have your mind.

Sometimes you might wonder, and plenty outside this world of Littles, Spankers and Spankees do just why this thing is so important to us, is it some compulsive ritual, do you really ‘like’ pain and it is one of the hardest things to admit to liking.

I think this week was a good example of the difference since this mixture of nurturing caregiving and no holds bar spanking made it’s way into my life because in very broad terms I was very much a procrastinator. Gawd, I’d of won the gold medal for it if I could of been motivated to turn up for the prize giving that is cos I’d just ignore anything needing doing.

Add to that anything that I really disliked doing, maybe requiring me to take a lot of time out from fun things or just being lazy laying across the couch, things that upset me like official forms that I’d get all stroppy over cos it’s a change and I hate change with a passion.

Well this week I actually just got on and did that form we talked about last week, hour after hour, not to the exclusion of all else but before starting anything ‘fun’ and a lot of this comes down to me in conjunction with guidance being disciplined for not starting or taking sufficient time and attention to things.

In a very real way it is trained me more -which is really what discipline means – to get on with things that may not be fun, may be unpleasant or unwanted in way just verbally trying to get on my case never did. So I did something I didn’t want nor like.

The lesson that can be drawn from this is what I need is sharp unpleasant consequences whenever I fail to do something that I need to do to instill a good attitude to acting responsibly in those situations.

What I want people in this side of my life to do is to pull me up over this, pull my knickers down and deliver memorable spankings cos that works with me.

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A trying week

This week hasn’t been a good week with me I’m afraid starting with a severe headache on Monday that soon moved in migraine territory lasting until Thursday so I wasn’t able to chat to my little friends which really helps me stay calm apart from just having fairly random fun which ongoing world problems can soon take you out of.

I’d like to thank various persons at SN and other places for their thoughts and concern during these last few days during my enforced absence.

Something else that happened and didn’t help is as I was starting to recover from this , I received a twenty-two page  reassessment for Capability of Work form used to determine my major disability benefit for being being so severely disabled I cannot be expected with help to return to employment with a very short deadline to return completed. Generally you would not be able to get any agency to fill it out to you in that time frame never mind do justice to my many and overlapping disabilities and conditions. That meant having to work out what to put in the boxes ready to copy on to the form sufficient that paws crossed they contact my Doctor and get real medical records rather than attend a ‘medical’ that is seen  by most as being a joke not being assessed by experts in your conditions and then reviewed by non trained government employees according to a tick box system. Last time I was awarded the top rate but not before attending to be told I didn’t need to come as my conditions didn’t warrant this.

My BFF has been keeping in touch with me, helping me stay calm while doing the work ready to get put onto the paper form as the whole process makes me ill and easily leads to bad behaviour on my part cos it stresses me out.

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One thing we talked about was the changed relating pattern, being more ‘little’ being subject to parental style rules has helped us deal with situations, not that things don’t cause more problems for us because they do but in us making better choices since we’ve accepted our Caregivers spanking us not in anger but without question when we’ve let ourselves down. We’re told we’re having a spanking and they just give it to us all within the terms and limits we agreed (and do review).  You may not like it at that moment but we have to admit it, we both needed our bottoms  spanked to helps us learn and move on having tried and been with other people who tried different approaches. This is something that has helped me avoid lashing out this week at people and actually get around to dealing with something I dislike responsibly

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