Reflections on attitudes while away

I’m planning on writing the full account of the previous seven days on my regular SFW blog ready to be published Monday but thought I’d write a few observations today on here this afternoon.

tumblr_o8mckbkhc91stdbvoo1c_400

Emotionally I was in a pretty good place while I was away which is an important thing because for me how I’m feeling often has an effect over the kind of behaviour I may exhibit even if it’s not classic brattish screaming, pouting and storming off  sort so much as constant low level disruption and oppositional stances I take.

It wasn’t that this wasn’t without potential for that from finding out very short notice the person who was going to transport me had a unannounced change of heart for reasons that nothing to do with me requiring reworking things and having to work to someone else’s needs first and foremost but also finding trying to book a Taxi for the required time wasn’t going to work as they’d said they were totally booked up so I reworked that section using less frequent public transport only to find on checking later on on the day I left, they’d actually turned up! That rather upset me with concerns about being billed for it and threats of small claims actions.

After the last entry where we talked about how I was spanked for missing important messages and not keeping in touch using my cellphone when it came to being given a lift, I did this time have it on and texted throughout  the two train journeys. As well, the person had some business in the afternoon to attend to leaving me alone for a period not knowing quite when they’d be back so I was instructed to leave it on and reply in part to control any anxiety on my part but also to make me feel some sense of responsibility. They also reminded me I’d be spanked no matter what if whatever I was doing needed to stop.

Another area was showing gratitude which is something I do suck at with indifference at best and a sense of “I have the right to given everything I feel I need, thank you very much” at its worst. I was having problems with the stairs, wobbling about, getting out of breath crossing two platforms at a rail station where two complete strangers, middle-aged, kindly offered to carry me luggage downstairs and even check I was all right before leaving me after doing that.  That really really moved me so I found myself thanking them profusely . Also coming back, we stopped at a friends who’d kindly offered an overnight stop and a meal a meal that when I say it was a whole plateful I ain’t kiddin’ ya. There scarcely was room for the gravy to go without it running off! Normally I’d just leave so much on the plate and say nothing apart from perhaps say it was very nice thanks but this time as if from nowhere I actually apologized for not eating it all  and that I much appreciate all the time they’d put in making it and I was sorry to leave some.

I properly behaved myself while away, fully taking part in activities, sharing chores to the point where when a few others were not I was singled out as an example of appropriate conduct which was a first and an example to copy from no less!!! As well I did run an event and helped others out running theirs.

I think I really benefited from the previous entries no nonsense  approach with it’s cautions, scoldings and no holds bar spanking because it really made me sit up and think about my conduct and how just a few important things spoilt the otherwise good standard of work I did, taking the edge of the day.

*  THE DISCIPLINED ENVIRONMENT I AM NOW IN MADE A REAL DIFFERENCE IN HOW I DEALT WITH SITUATIONS AND TREATED PEOPLE, FINALLY GETTING SOME SELF-RESPECT, CHANGING BAD BEHAVIOURAL ATTITUDES.*

*  I BENEFIT FROM BEING PROPERLY DISCIPLINED TO ENSURE I LEARN FROM MY INFRACTIONS BECAUSE DISABILITIES ASIDE I AM CAPABLE OF OF BEHAVING MYSELF *

Posted in Uncategorized, lg, spanking, reparenting, discipline, mentoring, rules, changed attitudes, middle, maturity, taking ownership | Leave a comment

Jo is taught a painful lesson

I’m writing this today as I have a few things to do tomorrow in connection with being away for six days from Next Friday so of you hadn’t worked that out it means apart from no interaction on my SchoolRoom Tumblr or at SN, I also won’t be around to post anything on here. Plus obviously I have a number if other things to do across the week before I’m   finally off.

I’m going to write about of my last time away, from last weekend because as painful as it maybe in more than one sense for one thing it’s a bit more definitive than bits I’ve mentioned in other places and for another it is important, relevant to this blog.

This bit I have mentioned at one site but was pretty important which was I was travelling by rail to the person who looks after me and for no good reason I did not check before departing from either the day before when one message was sent or while actually travelling my cellphones messages to confirm what time I was arriving (plus was everything still okay) and on which platform I might be found. I had checked my computer and sent a message to say I was on my way but that didn’t answer their questions.

When I did find them, needless to say on wrong platform frantically waving at me to make my way along the steps to the approach to the concourse, they showed real concern not being sure if I was on the right train, if I was well and so  on. I was not expecting any further repercussions before I got in their car the short distance to where the lived where after taking my coat off I was called into the front room, scolded and then informed to assume position across a school desk where they said they was going to spanked for this and so gave me twenty hard hand  spanks on the bare. I now have to check for messages and respond straightaway. This was good start to the weekend!

We then started on formal lessons, this time Math which to be honest is both something I’m not really good at but did do fairly well on other than I on a couple of occasions I failed to pay attention to the questions even though I could of so I was informed to assume position mean from the chair I was sat in I had to walk around to the longer side of the desk and bend over it with my legs apart  while they picked the implement to use in this instance a leather strap, pulled my knickers down and proceeded to give me quite a strapping across my bottom

tumblr_oaj3ub7vxe1vu2l8zo1_400

Then I got a bit cheeky during the english language part so was ordered across the desk and this time they bought out something that really left an impression on me before, the Tawse so again they pulled my kickers right down and used that over twelve times with some force on me. Then later on we had guests who were informed about my behaviour across the day in clear earshot having to listen to them supporting how I’d been disciplined before being called over, bent over a chair and hand spanked across my skirt in front of them which made me feel very small.

As I’m typing this I am feeling very very contrite in part for realizing how I had caused them concern for my well-being apart from inconveniencing them from the start and then letting myself down by my attitudes later on. In so many ways this was the more unfortunate for the work I did was actually to a pretty decent standard, being praised for it and when it came to cookery I really put a lot into it my disabilities aside.

The weekend then could of been that much better all around for those three things for which my bottom feels still very sore around the sit spots but it was a memorable weekend  because I just was treated very much as I deserved to be with my disability being no reason to spare me from what I had earned and that I shall learn from from now on.

*I WAS GIVEN THE SPANKING I NEEDED WITH MY DISABILITIES NO LONGER ALLOWED TO COME BETWEEN PROPERLY DISCIPLINING ME*

*I WILL BE TREATED THE SAME AS ANY OTHER ADULT MIDDLE/LITTLE FROM NOW ON.*

 

Posted in discipline, middle, rules, spanking | Leave a comment

Regressed weekend

I’m a day early for a reason really which will become apparent as I write this however the week so far in has gone quite well even though I was poorly on Tuesday so had to take things steady, and item I bought needed the plastic case changing as a corner piece had got broken in the mail.

tumblr_oaj3ub7vxe1vu2l8zo1_400

It’s going to be a weekend of regressed stuff, not really role play cos I’m in that headspace pretty much all of the time but more one when I’ll be with a few friends who’ll set me some schoolwork to do, have me helping in the kitchen, all in uniform and by agreement if I mess up then they’ll spank me.

It’s kinda funny I guess but I find time like that less stressful for just thinking more inline with my capabilities rather than trying act more as an adult, not that in this setting I don’t have to show some maturity, cos I most certainly do but it’s all on the level I can understand and that’s part of the reason they do this.

It’s to bring forward some of that maturity I am capable of and extinguish the less mature aspects I have which have been a problem of mine since-well being a young kid,where even then a good many folks wouldn’t of accepted them either.

This weekend like some of the others then is super important to me.

Posted in discipline, maturity, middle, regression, reparenting, rules, spanking, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Welfare and Tumblr Anniversary

There’s two main things I wish to talk about today on here of which I think the most important one which is the well-being of the one getting spanked  by their disciplinarian which was brought to light by a entry and discourse on SN and naturally I won’t name names. The essence of the post was they had had been spanked so hard as severely bruised left in extreme pain with severe swelling, passing out and being sick with a strong suggestion any safeword wasn’t respected.

What concerned me was the individual to have passed out and been sick must of been in such severe trauma while being spanked and yet the spanker had either not noticed, which is his responsibility or failed to take account of how the individual was reacting in real time, adjusting spanking technique, deferring any ‘owed’ swats and even halting it where needed for the persons medical well-being. They just carried on regardless leaving the individual in the state they were.

I won’t pull any punches here and so am gonna say outright what he did was flat out wrong because he showed no respect for the welfare of the spankee, left them in what can only be described as an appalling  state requiring treatment for pain and swelling never mind psychological impact. This was abusive and looked more like a ‘beating’ beloved of gangsters than anything having truly discipline at its core.

schoolgirl

 

The second thing was the First Anniversary of my Cg/l age regressed with spanking Joanne’s Schoolroom Tumblr which was on Friday  that you may recall me mentioning this time last year when following some argy-bargy  between a well known publisher, Tumblr and myself, Tumblr axed two of my Tumblrs by blowing up the account. At the time it had something like 600 followers and over 5,000 posts that dated back to July 2013 where I first discovered Cg/l  and spanking for adults in a more child-like discipline way rather than anything to with adult sexuality or bdsm that in time lead to me articulating this “need”  to people who could explore it with me.

You can see that it was so important to me personally, that I just had to remake it this time on a single Tumblr finding some posts that had been ‘cached’ and others that my BFF and few other people had reblogged so I was able to restore about a third of the posts relating to spanking and a few handfuls of the Cg/l and littles related posts although one single very personal post about my relationship  to a Headteacher hasn’t been found that continues to gnaw at me. Actually the reason it gained its title was the school and the classroom were places where I was safe from some really nasty stuff in my parents life at home, being a real refuge in an environment that included spanking and that spanked me where needed so emotionally this is my safe zone. Some measure of which was sleeping at the time with a teddy named after the headteacher at a school that caned me because I always felt safe around him and his school, that outside of things like play or colouring, I do enjoy being sat at  desk studying.

In a way although I regret the loss of the original Tumblrs, the seamless integration of  play, cute things, my relationship to my Caregiver and other similarly empowered ‘adults’, studying and spanking in the remade Tumblr mirror the adult but little/middle regressed me of now and to large extent of the then child. Spanking was and is just a part of that life, not the whole. A need now properly met in a caring setting.

Posted in injury, regression, spanking, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Musings on Study Saturday

The week has been an interesting one with me talking more freely with people about what makes me, well me, not just all that scientific and psychological language given to my many conditions that often feels inadequate at really describing the experience but also what it means in everyday situations  which did shock a few people because some of those things are very much vulnerabilities. Vulnerabilities others can prey and take advantage of.

Now while I’m not at one with dumping a shedload on people emotionally although to be truthful I’ve used that before now to get stuff for me, actually that felt good not that they made any kind of offer but for just being open about it rather than glossing over it cos however you wrap this up I need protection in certain situations.

As well, I have been dealing with Tumblr – no not yet more discourse but actually sorting out why a couple of super desirable features didn’t work which after some working out had something to do with messing up the codes in the themes Tumblr like WordPress and Googles Blogger offer you and now that’s fine. I remade the About page although the editor on Tumblr isn’t a patch on WordPress and while the one here has multiple pictures, I couldn’t get it to do more than one without all the edit buttons like picture insert disappearing. That reminds me to review the stand alone pages on here as they’re getting on twenty four months old.

Also I’ve been working on a couple of littles related things such as the Music Quiz for our Winter get together which I will be doing – another sign of me having to contribute something to something I also get things from and organizing the transport as I’m unable to drive.

If that wasn’t enough to be getting on with I’ve been asked  to visit one of my “adult” friends which apart from sharing a meal with them and another mutual, does mean some studying and helping out which there was a less than subtle hint I may be helping with cooking the meal!

The nature of our relationship  is one that any infractions on my part will no longer go without being me being disciplined on the spot for them and in the full knowledge of any other “adults” present. 2017 is definitely shaping up to the year of more accountability!

 

Posted in maturity, middle, taking ownership, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Cause and effect

We are at the very beginning of the New Year and last week by way of both a recap on why I and this blog happens to be here and also of a overview of last year from both a emotional well-being and also personal attitudinal angle as with me at least the responses to situations at times by my own admission a bit immature  leads to attitudinal issues with me.It was always the reason we had a twin-sided approach when we changed the whole situation around in 2014/5 because what builds up in me comes out sometimes literally in lashing out and even when not leads to issues with low to medium ignoring or non-compliance building up in a passive/aggressive style   of relating to people I would use to push you toward my immediate wants.

Some of these things do come from external sources not say, my folks, my Caregiver, the other trusted adults or for that matter any other ‘grown up’ I interact however reluctantly with  but say from things such as Social Media where a sizable number of people ignore everyday boundaries that even in my messy at times state do get and instantaneous instant justice by mobs calling you out, flooding inboxes with hate and so on are far from uncommon.

I think I wrote of one semi-trumped up public call out I had at one site that was more a one off mistake I’d of accepted a punishment for rather than some deliberate series of rule flaunting. Well this week, I saw what the person who did this to me was like in real time – no edits and it was awful with swearing and the most amazing sense of personal entitlement for the use of everyday words you could begin to imagine.

I was extremely hurt by what had happened just over  a month ago, not just the loss of friends but the sheer humiliation publicly inflicted on me and of being cast out in a state of portrayed disgrace but as I remarked, sobbing the day after this incident, actually I think I should be grateful for being kicked out even for the semi-trumped up reasons because their meanness that could of spilled into my own character hurting others not least finding hours later a vulnerable person suffering childhood trauma, was bullied FIVE TIMES by one of their supporters left feeling broken for making a single minor mistake.

The new people I am with while having some strict standards around the content of posts for blogs that are linked to them as a part of the Community, are several degrees fairer and do operate from the standpoint of mutual respect.

tumblr_oeqfa2v6ot1teoewlo1_1280

This year then I do not only have the discipline of my Caregiver and other adults in my life, I also have to demonstrate a preparedness to follow the rules online, showing respect for their authority. The only difference is that the offline version features corporal punishment even for online incidents and I can be caned too whenever it is judged serious enough  to warrant it. That cane is a reminder that I am disciplined middle, disciplined to help me learn to make the right responses even in emotionally trying circumstances because I have the potential ability to do so when I apply it

 

Posted in caning, discipline, maturity, mentoring, middle, reparenting, rules, spanking, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

2016 review or why this is the life for me

So less than a day to go after the season of seeing neighbours, family and friends around of opening presents, some of which may of been surprises which to be truthful I prefer with the amount of the little girl wonder that is in me but I’m looking over how this last year has been to and for me.

I might just start by saying some of less good things in the last few months have been connected in part with what this site is partly about and arguments by people who believe any age regression can only be pretty and fluffy and very modern day minor safe and some who at a more ‘kink’ end think that see something such as spanking as adult sexual where as for  me it’s a part of my regressed childhood (not getting into child spanking arguments here just saying it was back then) and anything connecting that threatens them they don’t want around although it’s neither illegal and if I do use any images they’re of models typical from spanking studios who are 18+ on media flagged as “Adult” 18+.

Be that as it may, we remember this whole thing resumed back in 2014 because I -and it is I here that matters – was an legal adult with the headspace more of a child messing up badly, not getting important things done, getting into hissy fits in a sub teen stroppy meltdown, disrespecting every authority figure who in my mind hadn’t any cos I was Princess Jo who always had to have the last say.

There was something of an irony in my wanting in my heart of hearts for this to stop but being both unable to stop myself and that nobody would stop me, instead saying things like “you can’t carry on like that” as if letting me go even was going to it better cos all that could happen is I’d run out of people who could be of some use to me and I’d be going down hill in a lot more ways being less able than most even to cope by myself.

You could say it was an ethical dilemma:  go on the basis assuming I’d learn by losing people the consequences of my behaviour although I’d be at grave risk of self neglect or whither or not to ask someone to you could trust to treat you more like a few people did back then as a child and while working on behaviour and expectations, spank me instead. I chose to have my bottom spanked as this adult/child hybrid because I thought this might well be a better idea for me cos I’d still be ‘looked after’ which with all my problems, I do need.

When this came in it took some getting used to again  and  I found people who knew me who by mutual agreement were also prepared  to spank me just as necessary with nothing really ‘adult’ going on in private because they saw how this approach was making a difference for the better with me and that made as we went into this year being around people as I started to learn the unwritten social norms, doing what I was told if I needed to be told to stop something and I increasingly learned to be a bit more mature – mature by the standards of a child with a similar developmental age – which was a considerable improvement.

Over the year I learned to make more use of the abilities I had by very structured studying where I agreed to give up some free time to help with basic math and english as well as working on concentration plus working to my highest possible level. I was not allowed to play a disability card but expected to work on managing it more even being spanked on the spot for spillage I was capable of avoiding by paying the attention I could to what I was doing. They were making me grow up and amazingly it really worked!

tumblr_o7jbafcphp1vv2a6mo1_400

In 2017, for me this will mixture of guidance support and spanking will continue  because that’s what we’ve agreed on simply because for me – and it is me that matters – it is really making a difference to better in my life. Please do support not just it but my right to way of living with are regression as someone who is 18+ to whom this is just me being me with less stresses from pretending to function at a level I truly don’t, getting into serious danger because no amount of sophistication can hide my only too real vulnerabilities that deserve being protected.

Posted in changed attitudes, discipline, maturity, mentoring, middle, regression, rules, spanking, Uncategorized | 1 Comment