After a short period of writing out that entry I got friendly with a person who being aware of my behavioural issues, being a little and developmental difficulties who agreed to online mentor me from this new year (2015).
The nature of it is set out in formal consensual contract between them and me which starts off the premise of being required to submit a weekly report unless otherwise directed covering my behaviour and how I am dealing with the aims jointly established to which I am expected to work on with them.
This was has clear cut consequences for me in the form of punishments that can start with being scolded, loss of internet privileges and end up with being spanked on the bare bottom with a paddle with extra spanks for three consecutive sanctions and equally three rewards would equal an extra reward.
After being spanked as punishment I’m expected when ready to inform my mentor of how I can do better the next time so even after being punished I have to be responsible, work through what went wrong and how not to and that no doubt will be used as the basis for something I’ll be expected to work on the next time in a report.
2015 therefore is going be a a very different year for me for being in a situation where I will be held to account for how I behave, for how I meet my freely entered into responsibilities in handling that.
This whole process will be a painful one for me, I will no doubt feel that paddle right across my bottom which will be sore, I may feel like screaming and even cry but I don’t wish for anyone to feel any pity for me because as painful as it is all this will change me for the good. I’ll become more mature.