This entry to a large extent starts from where the last entry ended which is what cyclical really means and why the focus needs to be around those patterns.
On Monday morning last, I got up just after Three A.M. pulled my right arm over the bed and picked up my netbook, turning it on and logged into several sites for four hours continuously to about Seven.
Now my bedtime is about Ten P.M. and I’m usually awake from about Six A.M onward and this should give me time to get plenty of sleep in because with some the disabilities I have, I do get tired quicker than some of you so have a greater need to recoup that energy.
But I didn’t so as the day got on I felt more and more tired, falling asleep and also started to get rather cranky making doing my chores which is now part of the ground rules living at home more difficult. It simply had to be reported to my mentor.
Now as I had deliberately broken my sleep with major consequences on my own well being as well as impacting on others I expected some punishment to occur simply because I need to given a consequence I could not forget to help me break this pattern of behaviour as I have had this problem before.
I have been spanked using Twelve strokes of wooden hairbrush bare which was very painful and still stung a few days later.
I am under agreement to report for a week my use of the computer which also is to terminate at bed time (unless a super major emergency occurred) and only resume after it’s time to get up and if I break it, then the spanking will be repeated.
All of this is entirely my own responsibility for both breaking the rule that is about ensuring I am getting enough sleep to enable me to get by the following day and not using responsibly my computer.
Several days on I am keeping to my bedtimes, not cutting them even though this has been hard through what some call “Fear of missing out” when you can’t get to sleep because you’re preoccupied with the latest developments, updates and messaging which is very common with teens.
Apart from having the support of my Mentor, I have been reminded by others that this needs to stop and everything that’s happened so far in is justified which take us back to the end of the last post.
I am going to do my darn most to end this cycle of behaviour from now on and the best thing is for everyone to support me in doing this.
I simply have to try harder.