This weeks entry begins with getting a very satisfactory report from Sir covering my attitudes and behaviour with people across the week following last weeks incident.
There is something else that has come into my life or rather has come back into into it which is very relevant to what this blog is about,that is I now am to do Homework three days a week.
This is so embarrassing but during my actual childhood, I was very bad at doing homework probably because of a combination of not being expected to do much if anything by myself, little real support and frankly a lazy streak that preferred to prioritize fun things first and then rush, if we remembered in time any homework.
What usually happened with that approach is either I didn’t do it at all and only one teacher made any real fuss over it (I ended up getting a spanking from her when I shot through the warnings, that helped pass her subject when I was at risk of failing the exam) or it has handed in incomplete, with stains from crisps on to which they graded it as C which in hindsight seems odd given I hadn’t completed the task.
The obvious thing you could say is having not learnt to give it priority and to do it to the best of my at times meagre abilities the same attitude has followed in in so-called grown up life creating issues for others and not helping me either.
All of which takes us back to why it was I accepted an offer by a Mistress for it for simply I need to be encouraged to think through what I need to do each day, to complete the most important things first before fun things to the letter following a schedule.
To me as a Middle, it’s important in giving the Middle me the tuition I need to learn to be more mature in how I think, to take more responsibility for myself, learning self discipline so I don’t let myself and others down.
Much to my surprise, I did very well this week even gaining a 9/10 on one assignment and a Gold Star for the weeks Homework, only having to be told off once for encouraging bad behaviour in another girl.
What’s the difference between then and now? Quite simply I have support, I am helped and encouraged in managing my feelings, working through difficulties in a responsible more Middles way being held to account more the way Middles are having done that.
Through this situation Middle me is punished, having been spanked more times than during my childhood which does work very well at changing my attitudes and behaviours so while it’s been a painful learning process, it very obvious to me each and every spanking I’ve had and may get, is sinking in, transforming me. I’m thinking about implications and consequences more in advance.
That’s just how it is it’s for the first time ever I get a Gold Star for homework and I could not be prouder of how far I have come but also grateful of Sir and my other friends for helping me though this, supporting me along the way.