I haven’t been too good this weekend unfortunately with some biggish medical problems like pulling a leg muscle badly and also in an attempt to get a few things off my shelf yesterday, I lost my footing a bit, felt my hands starting to drop a few things I’d picked up and that lead to me pulling my body very much out of alignment with a badly strained neck that really hurts. I could of used another word before hurts as it was that bad but them I’d of needed correcting for (bad) language.
That’s why this entry is late really, I haven’t been well enough to update it, honest, not me being lazy so I’m catching up aided by what I can honestly call a time sink of an occupation with one person being unable to maintain it. I’m actually using my free time responsibly to make good on what I didn’t get around to.
At one place people have been talking a bit more around the reparenting and ‘guardianship’ of innerkids which as you all know a good deal of this blog covers as it applies to me and my life and in particular around rules and discipline to which I had written a suitably name removed reply in the hope a good discussion can happen and also to aid the person who started it.
For me the start points are within the context of the arrangement, you are the innerkid, the child (admittedly legally adult) in the relationship so you don’t have any authority (bar the right to withdraw from that relationship) by consent as you have decided to accept what could be called a quasi-parental one with your guardian/caregiver where upon while you have a say, actually they have the final say. You accept their authority over you which is negotiated so both of you accept the terms which reviewed and from that point on apply.
The expression that comes to mind in so far as the child in it goes is you’re the ‘blank slate’ who is to be brought up, raised, within their agreed values and standards and to which the discipline, which certainly I get is about enforcing the consequences for breeching them so I learn to follow them having adopted them. It’s retraining up an adult child when you really get down to it to better manage their lives rather than just control and the infliction of punishment for it’s own sake.
Different people do have their own ideas and degrees of emphasis around the reinforcement role some being very much the disciplinarian/disciplined, others more while having some of that does put more on rule learning and also on rewarding good behaviour
With me it just flows as that child like discipline to remind me of a rule so it’s important it happens as close to the event that caused it as possible and it happens domestically, where I may of been at the time of the infraction such as the front room or bedroom which also underscore the normalcy of it to what is in effect an adult-kid you’re re-parenting.
It may be what they’re used to anyway so connecting straight off to their child side who knows they’re not ones with authority deep down and certainly I feel very little in such a situation which has been the case for the last 11 months.
It may be unconventional but for me all of this right down to the spanked bottoms have been a great help, bringing on more maturity within my limits than many people have ever seen before.