I’ve just been a bit busy this week being giving some thought to what Mom could get me for Christmas as she’s not as able as she was to get out to go visiting store after store for me. I wonder what would happen if she could get Voucher redeemable for a years spankings for me?
You see, and it’s super hard actually admitting this in print, outside of the stuff that can’t be helped like my multiple disabilities and how they effect my life, a good deal of the other problems really stem how I was brought up , or more accurately not.
For one thing there is a view, a whole mindset even in some circles that says a child (or for that matter an adult) is diagnosed with a condition that may have an effect on how you react and behave, then you’re not guilty of being ‘naughty’ because you by virtue of having this cannot be expected to control any urges.
Note it’s not saying you may difficulty in controlling them, or even implying you may be expected to have *some* control and responsibility for what happens. It implies you don’t and from that excuses you from any consequences.
To a large degree to the extent my folks even bought into the idea of my culpability and any kind of a sanction at all for infractions, they went with that view that they’d be punishing me for what I had no control over so outside to a degree at school and with other folks, they’d just try distracting me or try talking about it at such a low level it never really felt like a ‘telling off’ even.
If they’d of started more on the premise it might of been difficult for me control my feelings or to have understood a rule but that wasn’t a reason not to punish me because I needed to learn and society expects me to take responsibility for my actions, we might of been getting somewhere.
Putting me across the knee or a couch from an early age for a light spanking followed by a short explanation of what I needed to do would of done more good in getting the message across that my behaviour wasn’t acceptable even it left me tearful and contrite to the point I’d feel motivated to at least try to do better.
The supreme irony of that is that in 2015, it’s exactly that which has happened without fail – an adult ‘middle’ Jo being spanked by trusted adults as a ‘middle’ school child – has become more mature, learned to control better her emotions and while sometimes slipping up, is doing much better, getting to grips with social norms, learning to take and act more responsibly within those medical/disability limits. Even Mom sees the difference!
That’s why in 2015 I am thankful to everyone who is re-parenting me and this post on the Thanksgiving weekend is here. Love and hugs, Jo.