This week was important for me for a number of reasons one of which was a lovely little does a couple of AB related comics and the storyline featured something that was a painful Core Memory for me.
You see when I was little, I had a lot of difficulty speaking and very poor language skills which unfortunately made me a target for people to take advantage of knowing I’d be without the means of defending myself by doing things themselves and blaming me.
This included for some reason my younger brother and one of things he’d do was he’d start a toy war saying his toy was better smarter and was going to defeat mine, getting so carried away in that either he’d launch a fight or damage something saying it was all my fault.
It wasn’t that I was an angel but I did as now know when and what fights to pick and those weren’t them and so either I’d get scolded or lose out on something even though it wasn’t my fault. This was one of several things that left me feeling less than safe at home.
My older brother if he was around could see right through this and deal with it, as he did when my folks were out as he did spank me a few times but as he was a Mini-Dad to me and I knew he did genuinely care I accepted it. We get on very well now no doubt helped by him reinforcing boundaries between me and authority figures.
The other thing is following the issues at one forum I talked about last week in various places, the moderation people who were removed set up a new site which is really cute even though a few bits are understandably being worked on given they made the site up in four whole days.
The site is unapologetically covering the whole of CG/l with separate sub forums for various bits so if say BDSM isn’t your thing then you don’t have to read anything about it.
I rather like it
One of my Caregivers is feeling much better following a serious medical condition that required hospitalization for a period which is good for them and also good for me cos they’re to pick up from where they were providing some of the guidance I need and various corporal and non corporal punishment as needed when I’m getting out of line although I have been doing pretty well so far this year.
Tomorrow I have some math work to start on OR Else!