This week gone has been a funny kind of a week for the realization why I gave up a part of my life because it messed me up so much was actually right because without getting on this blog into the politics of it, the last ten days following the United Kingdom’s Brexit referendum on membership of the European Union and it’s massive fall out was right.
You see it when it’s everywhere, news shows, the newspapers, on social media, chat shows it is hard to escape it never mind every second conversation in the street being about some aspect of it and it’s so complex and lacking any real certainty that builds up anxiety and concern.
With the disabilities I have that uncertainty is super intense being in many ways more child-like and yet being expected due to chronological age to be able to engage with it, it pushes me out of ‘little space’, feeling it’s crowding me out. It was a career in that world that ultimately drove me to a nervous breakdown and to one where this prexisting child-like development I have and its needs I found needed to met by getting away from those adult sides that weren’t strictly necessary. Being out of politics other than voting was a big part of that.
That was one big reason I went away this weekend, to escape all of that multi-media poltical stuff, because I needed a break where I could engage with things like play and puppet shows watching the sea to re-set me.
It also showed I could use the lessons I have learnt from the start of this whole re-parenting in everyday normal situations like completing transactions, coping with questions I didn’t expect, feeling in some control of my reactions so I didn’t mess up nor end up agreeing to things I didn’t want just to get out of the store which has happened before. I did okay.