After something of a hiatus, I am back from my adventures not that that means it’s it’s exactly put your feet up and relax mode here cos for one thing I need to write my account of that week and inevitably there’s a certain amount of catch up to be had.
I think one of the most important things I realized from that period was just how integrated my sense of middle/littleness actually is to me: It’s very much at the core so in effect I didn’t unlike some show a kind of split being a middle/little and back to adult side so much as I just felt that one persona enjoying her time letting out that younger side in a natural carefree way.
The other is the extent to which operating in a more child-like relationship to grown ups is less stressful and yet left me feeling I was ‘under authority’, operating within clearly understood rules that unlike in the past I just got on with. I didn’t need to be reminded, never mind be spanked during that period because I had matured within my limits.
In connection to both of these things I felt calm, which hasn’t always been the case with a sense of purpose, properly centred, feeling I could master the situation and exercise control of my responses which have not been good in the past at all.
People offered additional support to teach me new life skills,speaking well of me for good measure to further move me on to take a suitable place in society where I’d be an asset rather feeling I was doomed to repeated failure having to be carried.
The additional input into my life, the placing in a suitable setting with proper oversight and the preparedness of so many to discipline me when I let myself and others down has helped me mature.
*I needed someone to who was prepared to say NO!, spank me and put me back on track to enable me to reach my true potential and not limit myself*