This week hasn’t been a good week with me I’m afraid starting with a severe headache on Monday that soon moved in migraine territory lasting until Thursday so I wasn’t able to chat to my little friends which really helps me stay calm apart from just having fairly random fun which ongoing world problems can soon take you out of.
I’d like to thank various persons at SN and other places for their thoughts and concern during these last few days during my enforced absence.
Something else that happened and didn’t help is as I was starting to recover from this , I received a twenty-two page reassessment for Capability of Work form used to determine my major disability benefit for being being so severely disabled I cannot be expected with help to return to employment with a very short deadline to return completed. Generally you would not be able to get any agency to fill it out to you in that time frame never mind do justice to my many and overlapping disabilities and conditions. That meant having to work out what to put in the boxes ready to copy on to the form sufficient that paws crossed they contact my Doctor and get real medical records rather than attend a ‘medical’ that is seen by most as being a joke not being assessed by experts in your conditions and then reviewed by non trained government employees according to a tick box system. Last time I was awarded the top rate but not before attending to be told I didn’t need to come as my conditions didn’t warrant this.
My BFF has been keeping in touch with me, helping me stay calm while doing the work ready to get put onto the paper form as the whole process makes me ill and easily leads to bad behaviour on my part cos it stresses me out.
One thing we talked about was the changed relating pattern, being more ‘little’ being subject to parental style rules has helped us deal with situations, not that things don’t cause more problems for us because they do but in us making better choices since we’ve accepted our Caregivers spanking us not in anger but without question when we’ve let ourselves down. We’re told we’re having a spanking and they just give it to us all within the terms and limits we agreed (and do review). You may not like it at that moment but we have to admit it, we both needed our bottoms spanked to helps us learn and move on having tried and been with other people who tried different approaches. This is something that has helped me avoid lashing out this week at people and actually get around to dealing with something I dislike responsibly