The week concludes very much being on the top of it even though I had an event that forced itself voluntarily when a friend of a mutual threatened and sadly went through with a overdose a day and bit ago. Thankfully police were alerted and they’re alive in hospital.
In this week I was supported by my BFF apart from other people such as my Caregiver who faces similar challenges to myself, keeping a watchful eye over me, not just in the direct sense that I was in fact doing what I needed to but also that I was all right emotionally and psychological as the form I needed to get done requires you to think about what makes you ‘different’ and how that may effect your ability to be employed which with my conditions is a pretty negative place to have your mind.
Sometimes you might wonder, and plenty outside this world of Littles, Spankers and Spankees do just why this thing is so important to us, is it some compulsive ritual, do you really ‘like’ pain and it is one of the hardest things to admit to liking.
I think this week was a good example of the difference since this mixture of nurturing caregiving and no holds bar spanking made it’s way into my life because in very broad terms I was very much a procrastinator. Gawd, I’d of won the gold medal for it if I could of been motivated to turn up for the prize giving that is cos I’d just ignore anything needing doing.
Add to that anything that I really disliked doing, maybe requiring me to take a lot of time out from fun things or just being lazy laying across the couch, things that upset me like official forms that I’d get all stroppy over cos it’s a change and I hate change with a passion.
Well this week I actually just got on and did that form we talked about last week, hour after hour, not to the exclusion of all else but before starting anything ‘fun’ and a lot of this comes down to me in conjunction with guidance being disciplined for not starting or taking sufficient time and attention to things.
In a very real way it is trained me more -which is really what discipline means – to get on with things that may not be fun, may be unpleasant or unwanted in way just verbally trying to get on my case never did. So I did something I didn’t want nor like.
The lesson that can be drawn from this is what I need is sharp unpleasant consequences whenever I fail to do something that I need to do to instill a good attitude to acting responsibly in those situations.
What I want people in this side of my life to do is to pull me up over this, pull my knickers down and deliver memorable spankings cos that works with me.