This week I’m all caught up and although there are a number of things I could write about after talking with some friends during an art streaming session, there was something cos a number of them talked about the things that happened to them at high school and how they felt about it.
It’s a bit complicated with me cos most people see things in terms of the victim and the perpetrator which I think isn’t necessarily true for a good number of us and I know was not true for me at all cos I was both.
While in mainstream education I was bullied for a period, being tackled to the ground and assaulted, deliberately excluded by other kids in the year group aka “Sent to Coventry”, had essential stuff like pens and ink stolen and a sustained period where I was spat at for months coming into school having to try to clean myself up.
That as you can probably imagine caused me to withdraw, always keeping in the company of adults and hiding away whenever they had an opportunity to start all over again.
Another side to this was I did feel very angry so sometimes I’d lash out destroying toys or in one instance threatening to tip one guy out of his wheelchair in my teens or while in the work place in my early 20’s mocking a guy.
But then when you’ve done that kind of thing yourself you just might feel…guilty later on cos you never expressed any remorse for it and certainly were never in any way punished at all.
I just love this cartoon cos it really speaks to me about this whole area because I did own up to a mentor about a number of these past offenses who then did given me a spanking for them because it did draw a line under them for me taking away much of that guilt, putting in the punishment I wanted for it at the time so the matter was after a talk concluded.
*Being spanked for these past transgressions was therapeutic for me*
It really helped.